We have taken ourselves off the foster care list. It was a hard decision but easy at the same time. We were on the list for almost ten weeks without a placement. With my needing to be in the office for training this month I thought it wise to come off the list.
This month we had a wishful moment. My period was late. We have all been there right? Period’s late. We hold out hope that by some miracle we got pregnant. Take a test, it’s negative. Ok well maybe it is too early (knowing full well that by the time you are late it should be positive). Wait a couple days, take another one. Still negative, still no period. Then I start feeling really sick. Smells make me gag. Seriously I was cooking with fresh lime juice and it was awful to me. Normally I love it.
So I make a doctor appointment. Still negative they tell me my stomach issues are probably nothing (even though I mention I had an ulcer last year). They said doing a blood test would not be more effective than a urine test for pregnancy.
Still nothing. I secretly hope that all of it is wrong and I am pregnant. Foolish dreams. Then I get my period. Day 41 of my cycle.
So despite being foolish and tortured all week, what does this tell me? Well I guess it showed me that I was being foolish. Not for having hope, but for thinking I was ready to give up on having kids.
I think my transformation will be getting focused on how we can accomplish that. There is another grant deadline coming up in May. I wasn’t planning on applying again until December because I was trying to lower my BMI. Since I haven’t lost a single pound, even though I have lost 8 inches and it is noticeable, my BMI remains the same. I know there are a lot of ways I could hurry my weight loss along but I am trying to work on my eating habits instead of dieting. No pills, no powders, no special drinks. Just eating better and working out. It’s harder than I want it to be, but I think it is the right way for me to lose weight.
Other than some miracle grant giving us another shot, we talked about doing other stuff too. Maybe getting a second job or working more overtime. I am trying to sell some crafty items I made on Etsy. I think we will not do another crowd-funding. Our friends and families have their own money issues. Since we only raised 350 bucks on our last one, I don’t think it is going to explode up if we try again.
I guess I will be holding out hope that some miracle will help us along.
Happy Easter everyone.