Dec 30- New Year, New Me?

As we approach the close of 2016, which many people have acknowledged as not a great year, I look back and wonder, was it such a bad year? Sure, we didn’t get a grant. Money was a bit tight so we didn’t end up saving as much as we wanted. I got rejected for infertility coverage at work, twice.

Highlights. We were able to provide a home for three foster kids. I got my first tattoo. Our dear friends bought their first home. I got a promotion. I’ve been able to work from home quite a bit. My dad doesn’t have testicular cancer, which he was afraid he might.

A lot of good things happened this year, despite the bad. Maybe I need to be more positive. I am starting to trend that way. Sure I have moments where I break down and cry. Who doesn’t? I need to start focusing on what I can do to improve my situation, instead of focusing on the hardships we already faced.

I will always be sad that we didn’t have the baby we were pregnant with. That will always haunt me. But what can I do to put myself in a situation that we an afford another round? I know we have gone over those options before. We have decided to sell my husband’s beloved truck. It is a great sacrifice, but it the only vehicle with positive equity. Who knew trucks held their value so well?

I am still looking at job options with insurance coverage. Bank of America and now American Express have insurance options. We also are asking a realtor friend of ours about housing in Massachusetts. We are seriously considering selling our home (or renting it) and moving to the east coast to get insurance coverage as well.

Last but not least we are opening our bed for fostering again next week. Only taking in newborns. We like that stage best so far. Already bought diapers, formula, diaper genie refills and I couldn’t resist. I got one of the valentine’s onesies. It says “always loved.” I didn’t want to pick one that was too gender specific so that worked out perfect.

Other than working on having a baby, one way or another, we are working on our health. We signed up for a gym membership two weeks ago. We have managed to go three times a week so far. I imagine it will be more difficult once we have a little one, but I think we can make it work. We are both sick of being unhealthy. I even did meal planning! Hopefully we can keep it up. That way when we apply for the grant again in May, hopefully we will be slimmer. I want to do anything to improve our odds.

So no resolutions. No proclamations that 2017 will be a great year. Or our year. It is just another flip of the calendar. Happy New Year!



Dec 20 – Didn’t Win

705327_4844975851531_69202289_oWell I got the dreaded “We’re sorry to inform you email” from the grant committee. I knew it was a long shot, but I was hoping our journey would be inspiring enough.

After sulking about that I was going to let our agency know to open our foster bed again Jan 3rd but the email came back recipient doesn’t exist. I gave them a call and our agent no longer works there. Who knows how long since she left. She was there less than two months. That puts us at 4 agents now since we started this whole process. Not promising.

Turned 34 this month. One more year of good fertility then our number start decreasing. I wish life would help us out a bit on this whole having babies thing. It is getting hard to keep having hope that we will be able to afford it.

Sorry to be such a downer, enjoy the holidays folks.