Nov 28 – Surviving the Holidays

thanksgiving-mantel-decorWell hello there readers. I hope you are all surviving the holidays. Thanksgiving has come and gone. I hope your went well.

My brother-in-law flew in for three days and we ended up taking him and my hubby’s mom out to dinner Wednesday night instead of cooking. Thursday we did absolutely nothing! It was great.

Friday was a half day for us, so we were incredibly productive and hung our lights. Since we have a two story house, it was quite a challenge. I’m glad we did it on a weekday though. Last year people stopped driving down the street to watch my husband on the 32 foot ladder stringing lights. This year there was barely any traffic.

While the sting of not having a baby is still there, this year seems easier. I am still slightly depressed. I have to force myself to do things sometimes, but I was able to decorate the house. I even managed to get my cards all sent out by Black Friday (my goal every year). I did a fun little movie trivia insert in my cards this year. We didn’t have any good or exciting news to share, and with everyone we know being Facebook friends I thought it would be a welcome change from the yearly recap letter (nothing against them, I just didn’t feel we had much to say).

Today was supposed to be court for our first foster care placement. I was all set to go, but it dawned on me this morning that no good could come from it. I would either hear that things aren’t going well and be worried OR things were going great and I would be happy for them, but sad for us. Not that I thought we would be lucky enough to have her come back to us, but I had hoped it. I need to move on. I will always love her, but she will always be a adorable two month old in my mind. It is, strangely, like she has died to us. Because we will never see her again. I am sure I have said that before, but it is the only way to explain it. I have said to people, I have had four children. We have had three fosters and our angel. Yet we have no children. It is a weird kind of limbo. We don’t seem to fit in anywhere.

I was right about being lepers once we went back to being childless. Our neighbor who was coming over at least twice a week to chat over coffee, hasn’t popped by in two weeks (since the last kid went home). I have offered. She is now “too busy” with errands and such to visit now. Oh well.

Oh and some good news. After a year of empty promises by my work, I am finally getting promoted! Dec 1st is the big date. Same amount of work for more money! HAHAHA suckers. I might have to do more extra projects but that is the kind of stuff I enjoy.

Well I hope you all survive the upcoming holiday season with minimal tears and maximum laughter!

 

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