July 31 -Social Differences of being a “Mother”

So I have been noticing social changes since our change in family status. It is funny, I guess. We know that people have not always included us in social activities. It isn’t their fault. We are “outsiders.” Not having children after being married for 15 years throws people off. It is unnatural in our society. Infertility does that to you. You sit on the fringe of society.

I guess I never really took it to heart, we were always doing our own thing. Playing video games, doing arts and crafts, watching sports, doing whatever we want really. We had a  few friends without kids that we would meet up with. Some friends with kids who once in a while had a sitter and wanted to hang out. Sure we didn’t really have any plans for holidays. We just did our own thing. On our own little island.

Now that we have a baby, albeit a loaner baby, it has changed. Dramatically. We have people we hardly see coming over. We have people we haven’t heard from in a year, asking to babysit or help us with chores. I have never had so many people on Facebook saying how happy they are for us, when normally people don’t even notice anything we share or talk about.

I never realized how much we were outsiders, until we had a baby. It is kind of horrifying. Once the baby goes home, what happens to us? Are we back to being social pariah?

outsider

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