June 19th – Father’s Day

Father’s day. I can only imagine how painful it can be to my husband. He is the strong silent type. I asked him what he wanted to do for it. He said nothing. His dad passed away in January so this is the first father’s day without him. My dad lives in New Hampshire, which is quite far from us. I gave him a ring to say happy father’s day but that was the extent of our plans. I offered to go to my hubby’s dad’s grave, but since it is supposed to be about 118 degrees today we decided that might be too warm.

As we are getting closer to becoming parents people ask us if we are excited. I find this question both strange and normal. I know people mean are we excited to become first time parents, but I feel like the way we are becoming parents that it is kind of difficult to be excited. Am I excited that some poor kid out there has parents who are doing something terrible in order to lose their right to parent (in the eyes of the state)? Am I excited that the kid might have been put in danger or exposed to horrific things in order to be removed from their parents and placed in our home? No. Of course not. That is just awful.

I mean don’t get me wrong, I am excited to have the opportunity to take care of a child that perhaps some day we can adopt. But even that means that the kid’s parents did not try hard enough to get themselves together in order to get the kid back. Ya know? It’s kind of like hoping their parents suck and don’t care. Which doesn’t quite feel right. It’s hard for me to feel good about hoping that we can get a baby that we can adopt.

So this year we will pass on celebrating our status as “almost parents” (once again, as last year we miscarried right before Mother’s day). We didn’t do anything for Mother’s day either, but next year (hopefully) we can take that title to heart and not feel guilty or weird or sad about it.

fathers day




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