This morning has been rough. Nothing happened. Nothing changed. But I found myself in tears.
I think I am going to see a counselor or therapist. I realized yesterday when I was talking to a friend about a job offer I am receiving that is a 7k pay raise. I didn’t seem excited about it at all and she said to me, aren’t you pretty happy about getting a job offer with a huge pay raise? But I wasn’t. I honestly couldn’t care less. Which is probably not good. I mean it is not my dream job by ay stretch, but it is a huge opportunity.
I feel the same way about fostering. I am not overly excited to do it. I don’t know if it the knowledge that there will constantly be people in our home, court dates, visits that could result in lice and bed bugs and trauma to the kiddo, the mediocre of the birth parents and that no matter how much we love the kid they will mostly likely go back to the parents.
It is hard. We knew that going into it. We are now six months into trying to get licensed. We completed everything, but are just stuck in limbo waiting on the state to do our home inspection.
This week was our fifteen year anniversary. Fifteen years! We are kind of short on extra money right now with all our preparations for the upcoming fostering, so we went out to dinner on the weekend but didn’t do anything on our actual anniversary.
I know everything will be ok in the end, but I am just having a rough day. Thanks for listening.