Last week I was on vacation. We didn’t go anywhere because my hubby was out of vacation so I thought I would take a week off and just relax. Easier said than done!
Day 1 I went to the movies. By myself. Mid-day. Saw Mission Impossible. Sure, some people don’t like those movies. Some people don’t like Tom Cruise. Those people are wrong. LOL Just kidding! Everyone has their opinion. I just love them though.
Day 2 I decided to paint. We have several gallons of paint that we picked out months ago. But painting is a daunting task. We have 9 foot ceilings and giant rooms. So I decided to pick a bright sky blue for our half bath and full guest bath. Make it kind of beachy. So I taped off, got to painting. The two bathrooms were on separate floors. So I was going up and down all day. Did not finish.
Day 3 I finish painting. I take pictures and post them on FB. People are just wild about the color. Then the thought I didn’t want to come into my mind, did. It was a soft blue and I was thinking about how if I hadn’t miscarried we would be about 5 months along and we would have been painting a nursery.
Is there any time when I won’t be thinking about the what-if’s? Am I always going to say if I hadn’t miscarried I would have… I hope that I forget it sometimes. I was so close to having our miracle and it slipped away in a blink of an eye. Is it going to haunt me forever?