May 25- Decisions about the Future

It’s been about a week and a half since I finally stopped bleeding from the D&C. I had my post-op appointment at my clinic. My doctor said she was glad to see I was feeling better. I was glad to be feeling better. Don’t get me wrong I still cry randomly. But I can talk about what happened without bursting into tears. I am doing better.

My brother had his baby girl Thursday morning. I am happy for them. I wish my family was better at communicating. I found out from a friend who messaged me to say congrats on becoming an aunt. I had unfollowed my brother on Facebook to avoid all the mushy gushy posts and ultrasound pictures. Apparently they announced it via FB. Then I wrote congratulations on the photos. My brother responding via text, again insisting that we fly out there. I did not respond. He knows what happened with us, but he doesn’t really understand. Can’t beat a dead horse.

My darling hubby and I talked about what we wanted to do. The doctor said there was no reason we couldn’t do a third round with our eggs and sperm. Despite the fact that they were pushing donor sperm. We had thought about donor embryos. If we can’t get pregnant with our own we will definitely do that. But for now we want to keep trying with our own dna. I know it sounds nutty but we were so close. We got pregnant. What happened to us, sadly happens to lots of people. It is the main cause of first trimester miscarriage. Even people who don’t need fertility treatment.

We won’t be doing a cycle for a while. We don’t have the money. We are going to see a urologist first. Lose a little weight. Etc. Hopefully by the end of the year. I plan on writing our benefits folks to see if we can get coverage added.

Good luck to everyone in their journeys. We will be rooting for all of you.

crystal_ball1

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