Technically round two is still two weeks away but we are still trying to prepare for it financially and mentally. Spent a couple of hours working on my budget. Moving things around to make sure we can afford the medications in cash in just two weeks. We should be able to manage it. Luckily one of my dear online support folks is offering to do an online party and donating her commission. That is so kind! I almost feel guilty accepting the help. I mean after all we are all trying to afford this, including her. I feel like I am taking money out of her pocket!
Mentally I feel I am in a better place for this round than I was right after the beta was negative last round. I knew we had to get back on the horse right after the failure but it was hard to process that and try and be upbeat and excited for the next attempt. I was feeling angry and bitter and sad. How could it not work? Why did we get the bad side of the odds? Ah but trying to figure out why is like trying to figure out why puppies are so cute. No reasoning, it just is.
I’m very nervous about the endometrial biopsy on Wednesday. My dear hubby won’t be able to be there. I know it is just going to be like a pap with more cramping but I still get nervous. I am not looking forward to going into work afterwards either. I think I will bring my electric heating pad just in case.
On the bright side, it seems all my job hunting might be paying off. I might be able to have two offers to choose from, if it all works out. I have another interview on Tuesday morning. It would be nice knowing that we are going to have income after the severance pay stops. It scares me how hard it is to find a job these days.
This past week was stressful for my family as well. My brother is trying to get ready for his baby mentally, financially and physically. He had surgery to repair his foot this week. I didn’t even know his surgery was this week because he never told me. He didn’t tell anyone except for my dad, mom, sister and his fiancé. The day before his surgery he got on Facebook messenger and started to cuss me out for “sitting in a judging circle” with my family about his fiancé smoking. Now I said that they told me and was I supposed to do about them talking to me? I told him I said that it was none of our business. He said good and that he was done with the rest of the family blah blah blah. I was very upset the rest of the day. He never even apologized for accusing me of talking about her. I called my dad’s line the next day to check up on him and my sister answered and said everyone was at the hospital for his surgery. Gee thanks for telling me. I swear I think I might keep my phone off for the whole process this time.
I’m on week 4 of my birth control. They have me on it for 5 weeks again. It is dreadful. Week 1 stinks. 2 and 3 aren’t too bad. week 4 and 5 are hell. I’m nauseous and have a huge migraine. Can’t believe I am going to say this, but I am looking forward to the shots! At least I won’t feel nauseous.
Good luck to everyone out there no matter where you are in your journey!