I woke up this morning to blood. At first it was just spotting. It was bright red when I wiped. I put a liner on. I was freaking out. I told my poor hubby. He said I needed to call the clinic. We got dressed and went downstairs to find the paperwork I got from the clinic to verify. It says “it is not uncommon to have vaginal bleeding or spotting near the pregnancy test. Please remain calm and continue your medications. Call the clinic the next business day to let them know of any bleeding. Please show up for your pregnancy test as scheduled.” I still didn’t feel any better.
I went to the bathroom again. There was about a teaspoon of dark brown stuff on the liner (sorry for the descriptive information). I thought well that’s not so bad. Maybe it’s implantation bleeding. I was having cramps in localized places in my uterus last night. More bright red blood and dark brown chunks when I wiped. I put a regular pad on and did my suppository cream in. My hubby and I went food shopping. I splurged and got a small coffee from Starbucks. I kept trying not to cry. My hubby was trying really hard to cheer me up. He even offered to go to Michael’s!
As we moseyed around Michael’s and then the mall we were bother somber. This was never a guarantee but I just thought I would be lucky, that we would get pregnant on the first try. How foolish.
I sit here cramping and bleeding, every minute losing hope of a positive pregnancy test. I had planned to do a home pregnancy test in the morning. I still will but I fear more and more that it will be negative. That all our effort will have been in vain. What if I can’t find a job soon? Then we won’t be able to try again. I am so broken hearted right now.