Yesterday I was so anxious for the clinic to call me and tell me how many of the 8 eggs were mature and fertilized. I figured maybe 6 would be perfect. Enough to do the 2 we wanted and freeze some for later. After some gals in my support group started updating their numbers, I got nervous. I called the clinic and left a message. It was after 10:30 when she called. I knew it wasn’t going to be good news. You don’t wait on good news. Those are the people you call first. Of the 8 eggs, 7 were mature. Ok, not so bad so far. Then the heartbreaking part. Only 2 fertilized. 2? 2! 2?! I thanked her and hung up. Only 2? What if this doesn’t work? I don’t want to do this fresh cycle again. I started crying. I text my hubby and asked him to call when he had a minute. He was disappointed too. Nothing left over to freeze. The energy I had earlier in the morning was zapped. I went upstairs and cried and slept.
Our neighbor’s friend is the one who referred us to this clinic. I text her to update her. She was excited. Her daughter was born from a 2 egg batch. She seemed to think it was great news. I felt a little better, but I was honestly disappointed. I secretly hated all the women with 10 plus fertilized and was happy when people had less than me. Terrible I know. I feel a little bit like a monster for feeling that way.
Today, I was getting ready for my job interview and I kept swearing I wouldn’t answer when the clinic called. I figured if it was bad news I didn’t want to cry and ruin my makeup on the way to the interview. To my surprise they were calling at 8:30 am. OH MY GOD it must be good news. I answered. It was. Our only 2 embryos are doing exactly what they are supposed to. They are Grade A. One is a 4 cell and one is a 5 cell. The transfer is scheduled for tomorrow morning. 11 am. They are doing both. I am still terrified, but feeling better. I am still holding my breath that they will continue to do well so we can transfer both tomorrow.
On the job interview front, it was going pretty well. Until it wasn’t. At the end, the guy said he understand what it was like to lay off people (a fact they had learned from another source so I couldn’t deny it) and to keep my head up and keep up my positive attitude. Yeah… that doesn’t sound like I am getting the position. I am not sure what went wrong. Oh well.
On the death of my aunt front, my dad is flying in tonight. I am a little stressed since I am supposed to be on bed rest tomorrow and Saturday and with everything going on, I will feel rude to decline family gatherings. Apparently my cousin and her newborn, and a great aunt are flying in too. Ugh. I am feeling guilty about needing to be selfish about our time. We can’t afford to screw this up. The timing can’t be changed or moved. Dilemmas, dilemmas.
Wish me luck for the transfer tomorrow!