Aw Mondays. I do really hate them. Except this Monday I am a bit happier. Today is my last day on birth control. Wednesday is my baseline ultrasound and blood work. Friday I start the shots! Well if everything checks out on Wednesday. I am so nervous and excited. I didn’t think we would actually get here, to this point. When we cancelled our cycle last time due to medication costs being so high, I was crushed. I cried in bed for an hour. My poor doggies snuggled me trying to make me feel better.
I just kept thinking this time that something would come up. Another excuse that we would have to postpone trying. Instead things fell into place. My old 401k was several thousand more than I thought. We received an escrow refund from the mortgage company. My new health savings plan received a thousand dollar contribution from my work. All the money for the insurance deductible and medications. Now If we hadn’t suddenly received IVF coverage from my work, we would have just borrowed the 10 grand. Instead we have the cash to pay for it out of pocket. Sure it is still 5k, but I feel so relieved that we didn’t have to borrow money with my upcoming job situation.
Since our benefits run out when I lose my job, I am considering what happens if I don’t end up pregnant this cycle. We will still have 5k for IVF and 5k for medications left with the insurance. I am debating doing another fresh cycle and saving all the snow babies for later. I know it doesn’t seem like I am being positive about the outcome. It’s partially true, But truly I am just trying to prepare myself for the devastating news. I don’t want to think that it will definitely, without a doubt, absolutely happen on the first shot. In fact I am slightly terrified about what if it DOES work the first try?? I don’t want to even think about miscarriage or twin dissolution or ectopic pregnancy. Basically I am trying to get by one day at a time.
And on that note, today’s victory? Last birth control pill day. FINALLY. Hopefully I will stop being so damn sick to my stomach.
Tomorrow’s victory will hopefully be getting a straight answer from the prescription insurance company about costs. They have not yet been able to give me a quote or tell me what medications are even covered. Wish me luck!